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Photo credit: visualhunt.co, aftab

“They” know you are valuable, and they are doing everything they can to get you to agree with them, so that you act in line with their needs.

Who are “they?” Well, just about everyone.

Advertisers want you to buy their products, so they spend time and energy developing ads that appeal to you and convince you that you need what they sell.

Politicians want your vote, so they try their best to promise things that they think appeal to you (and then they can stay in office).

Scam artists want your money, so they appeal to your sense of pity, or sense of greed, or sense of importance. You feel good for a little while; they (maybe) keep your money forever.

Conspiracy theorists want power over you, so they work hard at concocting stories that almost make sense and appeal to your worries. They need to feel important, and you make them so.

“Influencers” want you to buy what they like. Maybe they get a reward, maybe not, but they do know their ego is feeling satisfied.

However, not everyone is trying to take advantage of you.

Some people are trying to bend your mind for your good.

Mom and Dad want you to succeed in life, so they spend lots of time trying to align your sense of values and prepare you for the future.

Your religion wants you to live a moral life, so they work on instructing and counselling you.

Friends want you to be happy, so they try to keep you from doing foolish things. (I hope.)

Quick Questions

Does your mom still spoon-feed you? No. Does your dad still drive you to the movies? No. Does your teacher still correct your work? No.

So why do you blindly let people bend your mind to their way of thinking? Sometimes we let it happen because we agree with them. But sometimes it just happens, and we don’t know why. It’s time to think for yourself.

Look back over your life and you’ll see that some of these acts were good (you didn’t smoke), some of these were neutral (you bought Keds instead of P.F. Flyers), but some were damaging (you tried to flip a house in 2007 and lost your savings).

So, it seems to me, that, at times, we help “them” bend our minds in ways that are sometimes good, sometimes neutral, and sometimes damaging.

Why?

How does this happen? Well, three things come to mind right away.

1) All of us make and use assumptions as thinking shortcuts. Some of these assumptions are rock solid, like spring weather following the snows of winter. It’s been solid for thousands of years.

But some of our assumptions are based on a shorter and more tenuous history. Brexit took place at the end of January, 2020. Many of the proponents of Brexit assumed that leaving the European Union would lead to immediate economic benefits for the UK, including better trade deals and enhanced sovereignty. Oops.

(Side note: I’ve been teaching / coaching business strategy for decades. Bad assumptions are a major killer of business strategy.)

2) Ideology often replaces deliberative thought, so we stop listening to the “other side,” refuse to negotiate, and purposely live in an “I’m right – you’re wrong” world. Even worse, we ignore facts. And I’m not just talking about politics. Religious ideology will tear India apart unless “they” (Hindus and Muslims) are willing and allowed to talk. Anti-vaccine ideology pits science against anecdotes. U.S. political ideologies pit the right against the left with little room for discourse and compromise.

Ideology may serve well as a “compass” for action, but it should never replace thinking-based action. Every time I hear that Congress voted “along party lines” I’m sure that some of the members have stopped thinking or are afraid to think. (And, yes, both sides are at fault.)

3.) We often succumb to time pressure and defer deliberative thinking. One of the reasons for the sinking of the Titanic was the opportunity (and pressure) of breaking the speed record from Southampton to New York City. One of the reasons for the Challenger disaster was the “launch window” and count-down, despite the cold weather. Auto accidents often occur when otherwise careful drivers need to “make up time.”

It’s a bit of a double whammy. “They” want to bend our thinking and we often let them.

And so,

So, here are a few things to improve your thinking:

• Regarding important decisions, take your assumptions out of the background and examine them in the light of day. During my consulting days I would often make clients document their assumptions and examine them.
• Use ideology as a compass, but not as a substitute for deliberation. To quote an old teacher of mine, “God gave you a brain, use it.”
• Do the best you can with the time you have but be willing to call a time-out when you are pressured to take action because of an arbitrary deadline.

“They” want to bend your mind. Be careful.

My recommendation

Work at being a thoughtful skeptic. You have no choice because "they” may not be telling you the truth.

Cheers,

Bill